Humility

The other day I was in my car meandering my way south on Highway 395 along the California and Nevada border. As I was leaving the scenery of the Eastern Sierras and slipping into the vast Mojave desert, I flipped the radio on to a local country music station. The first song I heard caught my attention as the voice sang about the relationship between a father and son and how that relationship remained strong even as the boy went his own way.

The songs recalls how the father tells his boy his own story of going off to fight in World War II and how when he returned he lived a life that he could be proud of. The refrain "That's something to be proud of/that's a life you can hang your hat on" is repeated throughout the song and it got me thinking. Am I living a life I can be proud of? Am I really raising my kids to be the kind of adults that I envision?

As I pondered these thoughts, it occurred to me that while I'm proud of my kids, I'm equally humbled that God would give me the responsibility of raising them. Me? Really? I'm the one He chose to raise five kids in this world? What was He thinking? As I started to question God's sanity, I realized the absurdity of the thought and instead started to think about each little life individually and how honored I am to call them my kids.

I'm humbled to be Zach's dad. I'm amazed that he has learned so much in his 10 years without my help. I'm humbled to coach him through life when I can and I'm humbled when he knows more than I do about things. I'm amazed by his willingness to pitch in when there's a need and his dependability when it comes to the mundane.

I'm humbled to be Maddie's dad. How could God expect me to guide such a beautiful and caring girl through all that this world is going to throw at her. When she sees someone hurting, she can't help but do something to make them feel better. I know she will find both joy and pain in life as she travels down this road, but it's who she is and it's my job to help her through it. God hasn't made a mistake yet and I'm not about to be His first, so you'd better believe I'm going to do everything I can to do it right.

I'm humbled to be Cami's dad. She has such a zeal for life that you rarely see her down. Whether she's playing all alone or with others, she's content. I'm humbled that I get to hug her every morning as I sit in my chair and type this blog. I'm humbled that she always wants to be with her daddy and that she hates it when I leave.

I'm humbled to be Justin's dad. Even though he's a mere featherweight of a four-year-old, he still loves to knock me over. I can wrestle with him anytime, day or night, and he's on board with it. I'm humbled when I think of all he still has to learn and how much I have to teach him. It overwhelms me, but somehow I'm going to pull it off. I will never give up.

I'm humbled to be Elliana's dad. She's only two, but already she brings such joy to our lives. Whether she's singing in the car or running out to greet me as I come home, she knows how to make her dad smile. She, too, has so much to learn and I'm honored to be given the responsibility of teaching her all that I can.

And someday when I look back on these years I hope that I, too, will say, "That's something to be proud of." But more than that, I hope I never forget how much of a humbling honor it was to raise my kids into godly young men and women who use their gifts and talents to raise another generation of God-fearing children.