Several years ago after losing multiple pairs of sunglasses I vowed never to buy an expensive pair again. I kept that vow for a few years, until my wife read an article about cheap sunglasses and the fact that they can sometimes do more harm than good. After that, she insisted that I buy some shades with the proper UV ratings, so I compromised and bought a mid-priced name brand pair at Costco and my eyes have been very happy with them. Of course, just because I'm happy with them doesn't mean I haven't lost them.
My wife is frugal. You have to be when raising five children on a single income. So when Daddy loses a pair of sunglasses, Mommy has been known to shift into super detective mode to avoid the wasting of a single dollar. As a matter of fact, she put those detective skills to work for me recently. Twice.
The first time was when we went out to dinner one night. Though she's frugal, we manage to get out for a kid-free date night once a week. We're careful about where we go and what we order. We've even been known to get away with a full meals for both of us for a grand total of five bucks. One night a few months ago we decided to splurge and spend a little over $20 by going to Chili's for dinner. That night I was wearing a nice dress shirt that my mom had bought me for my birthday. If you saw me in it, you'd have to admit that it makes me look pretty dang good, but it does have one small problem - there's no pocket. Since I always keep my sunglasses in my shirt pocket when I take them off I have to improvise each time I wear the birthday shirt.
My improvisation technique must have been off that night because as I set the glasses on the table, I thought to myself, "I'm gonna leave them there." Then I thought to myself, "Since I just thought to myself that I'm gonna leave them there, that will remind me not to leave them there, so I won't leave them there." Then I left them there. It was dark when we left the restaurant, so I never even thought about sunglasses as we drove home. It didn't hit me that I had left them behind until the next morning when I went to grab them on my way out the door. So much for twenty-dollar date night.
I sheepishly mentioned my error to my wife and reassured her that I would call Chili's later in the day after they opened. When I made the call that afternoon, the manager answered and informed me that no one had turned anything in and even if they had, she wouldn't know where to look. A very helpful lady. I harassed her a little, but she didn't budge. Apparently I was interrupting something. I called my wife and gave her the update and she did what any frugal wife would do. She happened to be driving by Chili's at that moment so she pulled right over prepared for a fight. Fortunately, she was greeted by a minimum wage hostess who had an intellect far beyond that of her manager. "One of the bus boys found those last night," she said. "We have a place where we keep lost things. I'll be right back." And a few minutes later she reappeared with my glasses in hand.
Knowing my wife as I do, I shouldn't have worried a few weeks later when my beloved glasses turned up missing again, but I have to admit I wrote them off as lost for good. I was riding my bike to school as I often do wearing my favorite In-N-Out sweatshirt. It was a cloudy morning, so I put the glasses in the sweatshirt pocket and took off. When I got to school I realized that they were gone. Hoping that I had taken them out and left them at home, I called my wife and asked her if she had seen them anywhere. She looked around but couldn't find the glasses anywhere at home.
It's a six mile bike ride on busy streets, so the odds were against ever finding them in one piece, but that didn't stop Detective Mommy. Shortly after school had started I got an e-mail entitled "You'll never believe this." Sure enough, Detective Mommy had hopped in the car and started driving my route. About four houses down, she caught a glare in the gutter and pulled over. She picked up the glasses and noted a slight scratch on the frame, but no damage to the lenses. As she got back in the car, she glanced in the mirror and saw the trash truck dumping a can at our house. Three minutes later, that same truck would have run over my glasses had the detective not gone to work.
She's a good wife and earns her keep in many ways, but I'm always grateful when she finds ways to avoid spending money wastefully. Sorry NYPD, I know she's good, but I think I'll keep her.
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