Double Hi

Neighborhoods all have different micro-cultures. Some are very tight knit and everyone knows everyone else. In other neighborhoods people may be friendly enough, but prefer to keep to themselves. I live in one of the latter communities and am a pathetic misfit. Most of our neighbors would never go out of their way to say hi to anyone on the block. I, on the other hand, love to talk to them, even if they don't feel like it. This habit isn't such a big deal, except for when I drag my wife along.

She is a perfect fit for a mind-your-own-business type of neighborhood. It's not that she's unfriendly. It's more that she gets nervous when she meets new people, so she tends to live within her comfort zone. Since none of our neighbors are really close friends, every conversation is superficial at best, but at least I try. Tonight I greeted a new neighbor whom I had met once and my wife had never met. We had both met his wife before and she seemed annoyed that we had interrupted her jaunt to the mailbox, so we haven't exactly tried to go out of our way to get to know them.

As we made our way down the street on our evening walk, I raised my hand, shouted out a greeting, and waved. Mr. New Neighbor, getting out of his car,  gave me an obligatory response consisting of a head bob and a grunt and moved along. "Why did you do that?" my wife asked, slightly embarrassed by the snub.

"Because it's more awkward to look right at the guy and ignore him," I said. "Besides it doesn't hurt to be friendly."

The art of greeting neighbors involves an ability to read social cues. In order to do that, you have to notice little things. For example, as we rounded the corner another neighbor was out jogging. We have known her from other circles as well, so she's not a total stranger, but we aren't close either. I saw her coming and knew that a "Hi" was inevitable. My wife, deeply engaged in her nightly conversation with me, didn't even notice Mrs. Jogging Neighbor approaching. Then came the social cue. The jogger reached up and pulled her iPod earbud out of her left ear, smiled, and said, "Hi, how are you guys?" as she jogged past. The earbud removal is a classic signal that the remover is at least willing to part with his or her music long enough to listen to you give a quick response, so I returned her smile and told her that all was well. "Enjoy your run," I added as she sped on by.

"You know, " I said to my wife after she was gone, "you could say hi too. She's not that scary."

"Why would she need a double hi?" she asked. "Your hi is good for both of us." For some reason that struck me as quite funny and I got to laughing for a minute. Once I settled down, I started thinking that I must have a pretty powerful hi if it can cover two people. As a matter of fact, if my hi can cover two people, why not three? Or four? Or more? Perhaps I could sell my hi's to other neighbors so they wouldn't have to verbally return the hi's I give them. They could just cash in one that they had already bought and continue minding their own business.

I'm even considering giving away hi's for free to help get my business launched. I think I'll start with a sign in the yard that says, "Get free hi's here!"  I'm sure some of the neighbors would stop by for that. Then my wife could get to know them on a more personal level. I'm sure she would like that.