Bored Games

Board games got that name for a reason. They're boring and when I'm playing them I get bored. God knew this about me when he gave me my oldest son. He was probably up there laughing as he was weaving Zach together in utero and inserting the board game chip into his brain. That's the only explanation for why God would give me a son who loves to play these boring atrocities.

I realize that playing games with him is a great way to bond with the boy, so from time to time I set aside all rational thought and sit down for an evening of bonding. Tonight he showed me a new game called Dominion. Although there is no board involved, it's still a board game. Just in disguise. This game consists of about a billion cards that you have to accumulate until you have enough money to buy the world and end the game. For those who have a neurotic obsession, you can even buy expansion kits which add another billion cards to the game. Zach has already bought his first expansion. Fortunately, he let me start with just the simple single-billion version.

It's interesting to watch his mind work as he plays the game. It actually reminded me of my childhood. I never played video games as a kid, so whenever I went to a friend's house, I would watch for 20 minutes as he played his favorite video game without ever dying. Then I would get a turn and die within the first 30 seconds and then it would be his turn again.

That's kinda what happened tonight. I played the safe route, basically buying the equivalent of mutual funds. Zach, on the other hand, invested as aggressively as possible, making expensive investments that promised high yields. As a result, he accumulated more money to spend which took more time. In short, his turns lasted three minutes and mine lasted three seconds. It was a lot of fun.

Despite the agony, I couldn't help but smile as I watched Zach execute highly complex, yet carefully planned maneuvers over and over again. He was a shrewd businessman in a board room negotiating complicated deals before the opposition even had time to consider disagreeing. The speed at which his brain processes information is truly dizzying. While I was still celebrating the three cards I had just played, he was bus busy tallying up the effects of the 25 cards he had laid out.

In the end, one of us was elated that the game was over because victory had been attained. The other was making plans on how to spend his son's income during his retirement. Guess which one was me.