Manhood

Do you ever wonder if you are doing your job as a parent the right way? Are you teaching your sons what it means to be a man and your daughters what it means to be a woman? Are you a good role model for them? All of these questions have been running through my mind lately, so I decided to take the kids out to Dad’s favorite restaurant and have a little heart to heart with them. I started with my seven-year-old son. “Hey, Buddy, I have a question for you.”

“What?”

I lobbed him a softball to get things started. “What is the difference between a man and a boy?”

“A man is old and a boy is young.” Makes sense.

“What does a man do that a boy doesn’t do?” I asked.


“A man has a job.” Simple enough.

So let’s follow up on this, I thought. “What are some manly jobs?”

He rattled off a surprisingly predictable list that included policeman, “war guy,” and fireman. What did impress me, however, was that even at his young age, he was aware of what it means to be manly. I must be doing something right.

As an elementary school teacher I sometimes wonder what kind impression of manly I am giving to my kids. While I enjoy my job, the only time I really feel manly is when I break up a fight between two ten-year-olds or nail a hot-headed punk with a dodge ball. From day one, my son has been a very cautious kid. He hates to take risks or try new things. Academically he is brilliant, but when it comes to doing the rough and tumble boy things, he would rather read a book about it than actually do it. The fact that he was aware of what real men do was refreshing to me.

I followed up on the manly jobs question by asking him if he would rather drive a big tractor or work at Del Taco. He responded with a giggle and said, “Drive a tractor!”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because that is what a man does,” he said. Score another point for the cautious kid.

“Where do you think men like to shop?” I asked.

“Home Depot!” he shouted. Oh, yeah!

“Girls like to shop at the mall and at Henry’s (a local farmer’s market),” my daughter interjected.

Time for the next question. “What does a man do when he is not at work?”

This time my five-year-old daughter again chimed in. “He comes home and plays with his kids, then eats dinner and puts his kids to bed then spends time with his wife.” I am feeling pretty good about the impression I am leaving on my kids by this point.

“What are some things a man does after he puts his kids to bed, but before he gets tired?”

Once again, my daughter answered, “He goes to Bible Study.” Still feeling pretty good. I must be leaving a good impression.

Now I really wanted to get to the heart of the little guy’s manhood. “Do men like to do safe things or dangerous things?”

“Dangerous things.” I breathed a sigh of relief. He really does get it.

“What are some dangerous things you like to do, Buddy?”

“Play baseball,” he replied.

“That is dangerous. The ball might hit you in the face and hurt you,” I said adding to the conversation.

Now it’s time to find out if my son thinks I am a man. “What are some dangerous things Daddy does?”

Without even thinking he said, “You teach kids!”

So much for my manly impression.