Man Cave

I live in a house with a wife and four young kids. I work at an elementary school. My life is consumed by women and children. Consequently, there is very little “man time.” This weekend, all that changed when I reverted back to my prehistoric inner-self and became a cave man. Cave dwelling brings out the man from within the man and provide men like me who have no man time with a place to create man time.

It started quite by accident (but kind of on purpose) when I acquired some used couches that had resided in my parents’ house for well over twenty years. I was actually supposed to bring them back to my house and sell them, however, as soon as they landed in my garage, a strange thing happened. The couches arranged themselves into a cozy corner surrounding a scrap of old carpet and suddenly, without explanation, the man cave was born. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was here to stay. The couches had been a part of my life for so long as a child and now they were back. Their new duty is simple: to provided me an opportunity to rest my weary haunches upon their cushions. Their purpose, however, is infinite. They provide me a place where I can close the door and hide from the chaos within the house. My new cave is a place where I can sit and blog about having a man cave. It is glorious.

The official man cave initiation took place last night when I invited my wife out for a movie. This was no chick flick either. It was man movie night. As she snuggled in next to me I heard her remark, “This is kind of nice. It’s cozy.” And it was then that I knew she was hooked.

The next day it became even more apparent that she was digging my newfound manliness. As I I stood in front of my class of nine- and ten year-olds teaching them how to write a research report, an e-mail popped up on my screen. I glanced down and saw something about a babysitter so we could go to the gym together. Let me make sure you all read this right. My wife enjoyed a manly movie with me in my man cave and the next day made arrangements to come to the gym with me so I could impress her with my ability to sweat from places she never knew sweat could appear. Does a marriage get any better than this?

Unfortunately, there is a downside to all of this. Imagine a man cave in the home of a daddy. Now imagine what the man cave looks like when Daddy gets home from work. Now imagine Daddy wishing he could get his car into the garage, but there are so many toys overflowing from the man cave section of the garage that the car must remain in the driveway until the issue is resolved. Now imagine the man with the newfound manliness on his hands and knees picking up toys and bikes, and dolls with his three year old daughter gently reminding her that Daddy’s man cave needs to look manly by the time Daddy gets home.

That was how things panned out for me as I came home in great anticipation of my newfound zone. Later on that evening, I again retreated to the cave to write a blog about the manliness of my cave when the pitter-patter of little feet found their way into the garage. I kept on typing, never even looking up. The three-year-old cave invader marched right over to my couch, climbed up next to me, snuggled in close, and said, “Daddy, I need you.”

“What do you need,” I asked finally looking into her innocent eyes.

“I just need you,” she replied. Promise me you won’t tell anyone, but, I let her stay on the couch in the cave for just a few minutes. After all, being a daddy is part of being a man.