The Chipotle Test

The United States has often been referred to as a melting pot of various cultures. Southern California's primary contribution has been that of the Mexican variety. Along with that south-of-the-border influence has come something that every culture needs: Mexican food.

I have never actually sampled the Mexican cuisine of, say, Wisconsin, but I can only imagine that it is not the authentic variety that is available in the border states. Good Mexican food can't be found in a national chain restaurant. If you want the fullness of the Mexican flavor palette, you have to find a local establishment that is owned by a genuine Mexican.

A few years ago a new chain restaurant moved into town. With a name like Chipotle, it sounded Mexican enough, however, I was immediately skeptical. As any connoisseur of Mexican cuisine knows, a Mexican restaurant must have one of the "big four" words in its name: "los," "las," "el," or "la." Absent those articles, Mexican food cannot exist. As I ventured inside Chipotle (not even El Chipotle) shortly after its grand opening, I immediately noticed two things. Thing one: the decor. Thing two: the music.

The inside of the restaurant is modern industrialist. No sombreros, no burros, no colorful blankets or festive scenes. Don't get me wrong, it was very trendy, but Mexican food is not known for being trendy. It is known for being steeped in tradition. Sorry, Chipotle, on the tradition scale you score a zero.

The music was equally modern and, horror of horrors, it was in English. If I want English music I will go to a burger joint. I expect authentic Mexican cuisine to be accompanied by equally authentic Mexican music. I want those big, fat guitars and trumpets and an occasional "Ayyyyy-yii-yii-yiii!"

Despite the fact that Chipotle serves tacos and burritos and uses words like "carne asada" and "carnitas," they are not Mexican. The most damning proof of this lies in one simple fact: they make you pay for tortilla chips and they charge extra for salsa! Mexican culture is hospitable by nature. No true Mexican would ever dream of charging a guest for chips and salsa. That would violate the traditions of their culture.

While Chipotle serves decent food, don't let it fool you. It is as American as Taco Bell and McDonalds. If you want good, fast Mexican food, find a place that has one of the big four in its name. Then evaluate the decor, music, and price of chips.