Parents' Rights

Have you ever had a well-meaning busy body step on your proverbial parental toes? If you have experienced this, you know exactly what I am talking about. The toe stomper disguises herself as a caring motherly type with far more parental experience than you could ever have. (Sorry ladies, I have yet to meet a male toe stomper.) As the proud parent of well-behaved children, you write off her advise because in all her years of experience, she has never actually met the children you are doing such a wonderful job of raising. Often these people have had far more opportunities than you to practice public discipline, although they have far fewer children. I'm sure you know the type.

As a father of four young children I have found myself on the receiving end of such treatment on several occasions. Ironically enough it has always occurred when my children are doing exactly what I have allowed them to do. When the toe stomper sees a daddy out in public with the four little ones, she immediately goes into rescue mode and thinks to herself, "That poor man will never survive a trip into the Home Depot with all those children. He needs me."

She then looks for the opportunity when Daddy turns his back for three to four seconds and swoops in to save the day. By the time Daddy turns around, she is there with a plastered smile saying, "I noticed you weren't watching the kids so I wanted to make sure they were safe."

Am I supposed to thank such an obnoxious person? I hope not, because I never have. "They are great kids," I like to reply. The inner voice, however, says something more like, "Were my children in danger? Did they annoy other customers? No? Then back off!" Fortunately I have controlled that inner voice almost every time.

Today I encountered a toe stomper whose misunderstanding of the law caused her to overstep her bounds. Fortunately, I was simply a witness and was not the target of her behind-the-scenes attack, so it was easier for me to hold back the inner voice.

The setting was an elementary school parking lot just after the dismissal bell had rung. Temperatures hovered around 60 degrees and the sun was out with just a few clouds dotting the sky. A gentle breeze was blowing and hints of spring were in the air.

The issue at hand was that a very loving grandmother had left an infant and a six year old in the car while she went to pick up a kindergartner on the opposite edge of the parking lot, never once stepping out of a direct line of sight of her car. The toe stomper witnessed this alleged felony in progress and immediately realized that she had to act lest the children die as a result of over exposure to a beautiful day. Her concern for the helpless children at the hand of the cruel grandmother was more than she could bear. Most rational adults who see such atrocities might feel compelled to intervene.

Given that her concern had to do with the fact that the children were in imminent danger of death due to a lack of adult proximity, a logical response would be to do as the Home Depot toe stomper had done and stay by the car until Grandma returned just to be sure the kids were safe. A professional toe-stomper however prefers to be as dramatic as possible, so she marched into the school office demanding that someone do something about those poor children.

Moments later a call went out on the school radio and a swarm of school personnel surrounded the car to rescue the children from certain death only to find them in the car happy and healthy and eagerly awaiting Grandma's return.

By now, some of my readers are mocking my own sarcasm. Many of you are on the side of the toe stomper. You are also unaware of the law. According to "Kaitlyn's Law," children under the age of six are not to be left unattended in a car unless there is someone over 12 in the car with them. The law also indicates that two factors must be present in order for a parent to have violated the law.*

(1) Conditions must exist that present a significant risk to the child's health or safety.

(2) The vehicle’s engine is running or the vehicle's keys are in the ignition, or both.

In the case of this proverbial parental toe stomper, neither of these factors was present and the grandmother had done nothing to violate the law nor endanger her grandchildren. There was no risk of overheating nor a risk of freezing. The car was parked in a safe location and Grandma was close enough to keep an eye on things. There were no seedy characters in the area nor a history of abductions of children from unsupervised cars. Simply put, there was no obvious risk to the children's safety.

Fortunately we live in a state that, for the time being, has yet to completely strip parents of all their rights. Provided it is a cool enough or warm enough day, parents still have the right to decide for themselves what is best for the children they know and love. And love is something a state can never legislate.

*CALIFORNIA VEHICLE CODE SECTION 15620