Sometimes You Just Can't Win

Often, despite our best efforts, we still fail. Failure can be devastating, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes we just have to step back, shake our heads, and laugh it off. Today was one of those days.

It all started last night when I attempted to put my girls into bed, but was thwarted by the maze of obstacles on the floor. After a brief discussion about the state of the room we reached an agreement that resulted in some fast cleaning. A few hours later as I drifted off to sleep, I thought about the what else the girls could do to learn some better housekeeping skills.

This morning before heading off to work, I presented them with a challenge listed on a Post-It note. “I’m going to make you a list of a few chores and you see if you can have them done before I get home,” I said in the most exciting voice I could come up with. “You can even put a check in the box next to each chore as you get it done!” Eager to please, they agreed to challenge.

At the top of the list was to vacuum their room followed by vacuuming the living room. The premise here is that if the floor is clean enough to vacuum, then there can’t be anything left on it. Right? The theory is true, the reality, however, is slightly different.

As soon as I walked in the door this afternoon, Maddie came running to meet me in the garage. “Daddy, come see my room!” she squealed taking my hand and escorting me down the hall. Her enthusiasm was was genuine and her room was indeed clean. I glanced at the carpet and saw the vacuum lines confirming that she had done exactly as instructed.

“What about the living room?” I asked.

“It’s vacuumed too!” she said. I went to investigate and confirmed that she had done that chore as expected as well. I lavished her with praise in hopes that we can turn her into the neat freak that her brothers appear to be.

An hour later I had to step back, shake my head, and laugh. The girls had been playing in the freshly vacuumed living room and I decided to check on them. Imagine my surprise when I peeked around the corner and found that they had decided to get into the mood of the season by creating a snow storm in the formerly clean living room. “What happened to the clean carpet?” I asked in disbelief staring at what must have been hundreds of pieces of torn up paper scraps all over the floor. Sometimes you just can’t win.

As the girls started cleaning up the snow storm, I instructed my youngest son to do some cleaning as well. “Can you go pick up the ‘B’ book?” I asked him gesturing to a book on the floor. The “B” book is part of a series of 26 books, each featuring one letter of the alphabet. Being an obedient two-year-old, he picked up the book and took it to the shelf.

“Good job, Little Guy,” I said, returning to the kitchen to help Mommy with dinner. It didn’t take him long to catch up to me. Glancing down as he toddled in, I looked in his hands. “What do you have?” I asked shaking my head, stepping back, and laughing.

“C Book,” he said with a grin. So much for getting the house picked up. Sometimes you just can’t win.

For years I have had a hard time buying my wife Christmas presents without her knowing I am doing it. The reason it has been so challenging is that I only worked a mile from home so it was tough to take a detour after work without getting caught. This year, I work a little further away and there are plenty of opportunities for stops on the way. Today I made arrangements to leave an hour early so I could stop for some Christmas shopping on the way home. I knew exactly what I wanted so the stop was quick and I was back on the road in only about twenty minutes.

Just before dinner, Mommy decided to make a quick run to the store. Not really thinking that she would take my car, I didn’t mention that she needed to avoid the trunk where her gifts were stashed. The minute she walked in the door I noticed a twinkle in her eye as she said, “Can you help me bring the groceries in? And don’t worry, Honey. As soon as I saw the bags in the trunk of your car I closed it and put the groceries in the back seat.” That makes me 0 for 3 for the day. Sometimes you just can’t win.