Kid Talk

We have a strange way of naming things in the English language. Some of our terms make perfect sense while others can leave you scratching your head if you really think about the words. Take the term "lickity-split," for example. If you go lickity-split, do you really have to use your tongue? Or do you have to cut something in half? Neither, really. It just means to go quickly, but it doesn't make any sense if you stop and think about the words. 

So, if lickity-split means to go fast, how would you say to go slow? What's the natural opposite of lickity? If you lick ice cream, you have to do it fast before it melts, but you want to chew your steak carefully and slowly. Does that mean the opposite of lick is chew? If that's the case then "chewity-fix" is probably the opposite of "lickity-split." Not so. The really opposite of lickity-split is actually lollygag. Don't even get me started on that one. 

It's no wonder, then, that kids get confused by this crazy language from time to time. I could see the confusion on my daughter's face the other night at dinner. She has the world's best quizzical look when she is pondering something confusing, so you know you're about to get a doozy of a question when the look appears. The other night she raised the left side of her mouth, squinted her eye, wrinkled her nose and randomly asked, "Why don't parents who are brother and sister just call the other kids 'kid-in-law?'" 

It took me a second to digest the question, especially since there was no context for it in our conversation, but what she was really asking is "Why don't you call your brother-in-law's kids your kids-in-law?"  It was a really good question if you stop and think about it. The term kid-in-law is all-inclusive of nieces and nephews. Instead of me having to say that I have 17 nieces and nephews, I could simply say I have 17 kids-in-law. (This could come in really handy when you're typing and you spell niece wrong every time anyway.) 

With our family getting so large, its getting harder and harder to keep track of everyone anyway, and I'm all for finding ways to simplify family connections. So if any of my kids-in-law are reading this, keep in mind that someday when you glance through the online dictionary using your Google glasses and stumble across the word kid-in-law, you are the the reason a new phrase has entered the English language.