Gut Feelings

Have you ever stopped to consider where your feelings are stored? Which organ is responsible for feelings? Is it the brain, the heart, the pancreas? Feelings have to be stored somewhere within the human body, but the actual location remains a mystery to most of us. Perhaps that is why we use the generic location of “guts,” as in a “gut” feeling. The term “guts” can refer to a whole conglomeration of various organs that all function together to sustain life, so the odds of one of those organs actually being the storage bin of feelings are quite high.

My wife and I have been dealing with a gut feeling of our own lately and it’s not the kind that comes after Thanksgiving dinner. The feeling in our guts has been telling us that the baby growing inside Mommy’s tummy is a boy. We have no rational proof for believing that its a boy, but our guts told us that it was, so it must be so. If you follow the various body parts north from the location of the guts, you will eventually find a route that leads to the brain. When the guts communicate with the brain, the brain tends to accept the gut feelings as fact. Once fact is established, there is little that can be done to change the ensuing mindset, except for modern technology.

And we got hit with a dose of modern technology yesterday. Neither of us really realized that our gut feelings had made the journey north, so we thought we were open minded, but when the ultrasound technician said, “Do you see those three little dots in a row right there?” I immediately thought to myself, “Why yes, three little dots would be the beginnings of boy parts.”

Then she continued. “Those three little dots are girl parts.” Then without missing a beat, she added, “Do you see that line? That’s her bum crack.”

“Are you sure?” my wife asked.

“Honey, I’m sure she knows what a bum crack looks like.”

“Well, we’re not allowed to say we are 100% sure, but those are the three little dots you see when it’s a girl.”

So much for gut feelings. Apparently I store my feelings in a different organ; one that is less accurate than the actual guts. After analyzing this situation, I have determined that my feelings must be stored in my ankles. That way I can blame any feeling errors that I experience on a simple communication problem. The correct feelings always generate in my ankles, but in order to reach my brain, they have to make their way through my guts. Chances are as the feelings navigate their way through the various twists and turns of the guts, the messages get skewed. By the time they reach my brain, the message is so garbled that an occasional mistaken conclusion is reached. Fortunately, I am never wrong since my initial feelings are always right. It’s my guts that are the problem.

Now if only my ankles had a feeling about little girl names. Any ideas?