Discovery

My youngest daughter was born with an identity crisis. When she first arrived, we proudly bestowed upon her the name Camryn Michelle. From that, countless other names have been derived. Cami, Cami Shell, Camster the Hamster, just plain old Hamster, and Cam to name a few. At first we had some concerns that she may become confused as to which name was indeed hers, but she put that crisis to rest well before her second birthday.

Our concerns, however, did have some merit. As she passed her first birthday and began experimenting with sounds we began teaching her to recognize her own name. It was at this point that we realized we had a problem. It quickly became apparent that she wanted to be her older sister, Maddie, instead of Cami. We developed a routine that went something like this:

Dad: Say Cami.

Cami: Maddie.

Dad: No, say Caaami.

Cami: Maaaddie.

Dad: That’s not quite right. Say Ca-mi.

Cami: Mad-die.

Dad: Ok, let’s try something else. Say Camryn.

Cami: Maddie

Dad: Say Daddy.

Cami: Daddy.

Dad: Say Mommy.

Cami: Mommy.

Dad: Say Doggie.

Cami: Doggie.

Dad: Say Cami.

Cami: Maddie.

Dad: Say Camryn.

Cami: Maddie.

Dad: Hamster?

Cami: Maddie.

Dad: I give up!

Needless to say, this is a comical, yet frustrating experience. Arriving at her name was quite an ordeal for me and my wife. In the months prior to her birth, we pondered hundreds of names before finally agreeing that our daughter was going to be Camryn. Now she shrugged off the name and took a new one without ever consulting us or seeking our opinions on the matter. Everyone knows that girls are the most expensive gender and now in addition to college and a wedding, I was going to have to fork over legal fees for a name change! “We’ve got to stop this nonsense,” I said to my wife one day. “I’m going to teach that girl her name if it’s the last thing I do!”

And so, I set out to teach Camryn her name. In the interest of saving space, I’ll not repeat the above conversation. I’ll simply ask you to review my last attempt at this and tell you that round two had similar results. As did round three and round four. By now, she was a side show that we used to entertain our friends. “Hey watch this,” I would tell anyone who came near us. “I bet your kid can’t do this.” Then I would wow them with my daughter’s ability to say Maddie every time I said Camryn, Cami, Cam, or Hamster.

Last week all my hard work finally paid off. When we first got our big white SUV with oversized chrome wheels, some might have thought that it was a little excessive, but I am here to tell you that big chrome rims have a very distinct educational use. I had sent the kids out to the garage to get in the car when I noticed that Cami had stopped short of her door. When I found her, she was looking into the right front wheel, admiring her reflection in the shiny chrome. “Ahhh,” she was saying. And then it happened. Her little finger pointed to the center of the rim and said what I had been longing to hear, “Cami.”

“Who is that?” I asked seizing the moment to hear it again, my finger pointing to the rim.

“Cami,” she replied.

“You’re cured!” I exclaimed as I picked her up and squeezed her tightly. I then put her back down on the floor where she immediately returned to the wheel and pointed at herself repeating her name, “Cami, Cami, Cami.”

I looked at my daughter and pride filled my heart. Then relief flooded my soul as I gently patted my wallet, comforted by the fact that I would not be paying for a legal name change any time soon.